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In interpersonal communication, an I-message or I-statement is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message" or "you-statement", which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person spoken to. Thomas Gordon coined the term "I message" in the 1960s while doing play therapy with children. He added the concept to his book for parents, ''P.E.T.: Parent Effectiveness Training'' (1970).〔Gordon 1995 p. xiii〕〔Gordon, Thomas. (Origins of the Gordon Model ). Gordon Training International. Retrieved on: 2012-01-17.〕 I-messages are often used with the intent to be assertive without putting the listener on the defensive. They are also used to take ownership for one's feelings rather than implying that they are caused by another person. An example of this would be to say: "I really am getting backed up on my work since I don't have the financial report yet," rather than: "you didn't finish the financial report on time!" (The latter is an example of a "you-statement").〔("I" Statements not "You" Statements ), International Online Training Program On Intractable Conflict, Conflict Research Consortium, University of Colorado, USA〕 I-messages or I-statements can also be used in constructive criticism. For instance, one might say, "I had to read that section of your paper three times before I understood it," rather than, "This section is worded in a really confusing way," or "You need to learn how to word a paper more clearly." The former comment leaves open the possibility that the fault lies with the giver of the criticism. According to the Conflict Resolution Network, I-statements are a dispute resolution conversation opener that can be used to state how one sees things and how one would like things to be, without using inflaming language〔(When to Use "I" Statements ) from 12 Skills: 4. Appropriate Assertiveness. Conflict Resolution Network. Retrieved 2007-11-25.〕 ==I-message construction== While the underlying rationale and approach to I-messages is similar in various systems, there are both three-part and four-part models for constructing I-messages. A three-part model is proposed by the University of Tennessee Family & Consumer Sciences for improving communication with children: # I feel... (Insert feeling word) # when... (tell what caused the feeling). # I would like... (tell what you want to happen instead).〔Brandon, Denise ("I" Message Worksheet ). University of Tennessee, Extension Family and Consumer Sciences. Retrieved on: 2012-01-17.〕 According to Hope E. Morrow, a common pitfall in I-statement construction is using phrases like "I feel that..." or "I like that..." which typically express an opinion or judgment. Morrow favors following "I feel..." with a feeling such as "sad," "angry," etc.〔(Constructing I-Statements ), Hope E. Morrow, MA, MFT, CTS, 1998-2009.〕 Gordon advises that to use an I-message successfully, there should be congruence between the words one is using and one's affect, tone of voice, facial expression and body language. Gordon also describes a 3-part I-message, called a "confrontive" I-message, with the following parts: *non-blameful description of the listener's behavior *the effect of that behavior on the speaker *the speaker's feelings about that effect He describes the I-message as an appeal for help from the other person, and states that the other person is more likely to respond positively when the message is presented in that way.〔Gordon 1995 p. 112〕 抄文引用元・出典: フリー百科事典『 ウィキペディア（Wikipedia）』 ■ウィキペディアで「I-message」の詳細全文を読む スポンサード リンク
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